Post by Remus John Lupin on Sept 14, 2018 4:29:32 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | |
everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | |
2887 words    commentary Tag: Solo | After procuring the address for the Tonks residence, Remus had dressed up as nicely as he could, though his suit jacket was a little bit worn. Over the years he had gotten better at the household spells and was able to patch up holes and things such as that. However, he was not a master, given he was more worried about offensive and defensive spell mastery as opposed to making his clothes look good. He almost wanted to ask James if he could do it – or borrow one of his nicer outfits, but Remus decided that would be too much to ask of his friend – after all he was already staying at his place. Using one of the secret passages, Remus snuck out of Hogwarts and to Hogsmeade whereupon he turned on the spot and disappeared – reappearing in front of the Tonks residence. He swallowed thickly and took in a shaky breath. He had his goal. He knew what he was going to do. All he had to do was knock. Raising his hand up he gently knocked on the door. There was silence for a moment, and Remus thought maybe they had left and gone somewhere. Maybe out for dinner. He checked his watch. It seemed a little bit early for dinner, but people tended to eat at different times. He knew he ate early on full moon nights, especially if the moon rose early. Just as Remus was about to turn to leave, the door opened, and he was met with a face that reminded him of a certain Death Eater he had encountered a few times, Bellatrix Lestrange. Well, Bellatrix was Dora’s aunt… This was most certainly Andromeda, Dora’s mother. “Hello. What can I do for you?” Remus nervously tugged at his tie and looked at the woman with a slightly red face, feeling like he was sweating, though in reality he wasn’t. “My name is Remus Lupin. A-And I am here to talk about your daughter.” He saw a look pass by Andromeda’s face which he couldn’t really discern, and she gave him a smile and a small polite nod. “Why don’t you join us in our sitting room so we can discuss further?” Oh boy. Here he was, going into the house Dora grew up in. “After you,” He gestured with a slight bow of his head. Andromeda showed him inside, and to what was presumably the sitting room. There were two couches facing each other with a coffee table in the middle. Andromeda left to get her husband and Remus was left in the room by himself. He could feel himself shaking from the fright. He wanted to just turn on the spot and disappear from here. But that would be unbelievably rude and there was one thing Remus wouldn’t let himself be – and that was rude to someone who didn’t do anything to warrant it. He stared at his hands for a short time and waited patiently for Andromeda to return. When she finally did, he looked up and saw the pair. He could see how Dora was related to these two – at least with that look she wore the first time they met, which he figured was close to her natural form. He quickly stood up and offered his hand to Ted. “Remus Lupin –“ Remus began but he was quickly cut off. “Aren’t you Sirius’s friend? Dora’s new professor, yes?” Ted seemed to know about him already. Remus wondered if Tonks had told them about him… but if she did, they probably wouldn’t be quite so welcoming he was sure. Perhaps they only thought of him as Sirius’s friend – he knew Sirius loved Andromeda as one of his only true family members. “Y-Yes, that’s me,” Remus replied with a nod. Ted gestured for Remus to sit, and after he did the pair took a seat in the couch facing him. “She’s not causing too much trouble is she? I know she can be a handful, but its never gotten to the point where a professor came to talk to us…” Ted seemed a little worried and Remus felt the anxiety raising inside of him. He didn’t want to worry them – but then again, confessing he had a crush on their daughter while he was her professor probably would worry them either way. But this was the respectful thing to do. “Oh no, she’s – she’s doing very well in her classes,” Remus quickly replied with a small nod. “She’s always done very well,” Andromeda explained, “She’s trying to become an Auror, but her behavior… we’ve gotten notes from Professor Sprout before about her receiving detention. We’ve had talks before, but she doesn’t seem to want to listen…” “Although, Dromeda, she did tell us about that guy she liked, Rose’s brother right?” Ted questioned. Remus felt his heart stop for a moment and he stared at them. He licked his lips that had gone dry and stared at the couple for a moment, wondering if they would figure it out. “Yes, but professors don’t tend to interfere with that sort of thing unless it causes major problems and –“ Andromeda paused for a moment and looked directly at Remus. “Oh no.” It seemed at the same moment both Ted and Andromeda had a look of clarity, understanding the situation completely. At least… he wouldn’t have to explain it too much. “That’s what this is about isn’t it? She has a crush on her professor – you and –“ Ted closed his eyes and sighed, “I apologize. You want us to talk about this to her, yes? You won’t have to worry about it.” “I can’t believe she’s gone and done this. She knows she can’t be focusing on boys if she wants to be an Auror…” “Mr. and Mrs. Tonks – it’s not –“ Remus interjected causing the two to look at him again, having snapped out of the conversation they were having without him, “It’s not quite like that. Your daughter and I met before I became a professor at Hogwarts. I – I was coming here to ask you if I could ask her out.” Silence. Oh, dear Merlin, the silence was the most awkward thing Remus had ever experienced and he had tripped into James once and kissed him on accident. Somehow this was worse than that. “I – I know,” Remus began again, trying to break the awkwardness with explanation, as he felt they deserved to know more, “I’m her professor, and I wouldn’t let that get in the way of anything – professional or personal. But we met this summer, before school started and – I –“ He was struggling to find the right words. “You don’t need to explain yourself, Remus,” Ted began, though Andromeda gave Ted a nasty look. He waved her down and took in a deep breath. “We understand how it can be to – to like someone who the world likely says you shouldn’t. Dora’s an adult. If she says yes, then we’ll be fine with it as well.” “You don’t – but that’s – you shouldn’t.” Remus almost felt in disbelief at his words, sputtering out his own, as if he wasn’t flying high that he essentially just got her father’s blessing at least to date her. “I’m – I’m too old, and – as you probably can tell, I don’t have much money and –“ “Nymphadora will choose who she wants, regardless of whether or not we approve,” Andromeda spoke up, with a small sigh, “So it’s better for all of us to accept what she wants. She can support herself. Money isn’t an issue, and so long as she doesn’t mind your age, what right do we have to judge?” “You’re too hard on yourself, Remus,” Ted said with a small smile, “Why don’t you stay for dinner? We can get to know you a little better.” Andromeda nodded and quickly stood up. “I’ll go make dinner – you two wait here,” Andromeda said, as if Remus had already accepted the invitation. It wasn’t like he could say no now. They were already preparing it and – well he didn’t want their effort to go to waste. Ted smiled, watching as Andromeda left the sitting room. Then he looked back at Remus with a serious look in his eyes. “So how did you meet my daughter?” Remus felt his hands shaking again and he quickly held them in his lap together to prevent Ted from seeing it. He was so incredibly nervous he felt like he was going to vomit. “W-W-Well, I was sitting in the Leaky Cauldron eating some pizza I had gotten from a nearby place…” “Pizza? So you enjoy muggle food as well.” “Well, my mother was a muggle – she brought a lot of things like that into my life.” “Tell me, do you like the Beatles?” Remus grinned, the nervousness slowly going away, despite the fact he knew he needed to be careful – as this was Dora’s father, and if he didn’t like him, well it would make things difficult. “Oh yes, I really enjoyed ‘Hey Jude’, though honestly, there’s not a single song of theirs I didn’t like,” Remus replied. … … About fifteen minutes later, Andromeda entered the sitting room to find the two boys singing Beatles songs together. She cleared her throat and announced that dinner was ready. Remus’s face was a nice apple red as they were led to the dining room. Now Andromeda was a traditional type, so Remus was going over dining etiquette in his head to make sure he did everything right. “From the looks of your clothes,” Andromeda mentioned as she laid out the plates via magic, “You’ve been practicing sewing magic. I would actually suggest restorative spells, they work a lot better.” Remus looked down at his old suit and his face reddened even further. “I’ve tried restorative spells, but it never quite turns out right. I wish I could practice a bit more…” “That’s right, you’re friends with Sirius,” Ted said with a nod, “The Order – Dumbledore’s tried to recruit us – we just… well we wanted to focus on raising Dora.” Remus nodded picking up his spoon and taking a bite of the soup in front of him. It wasn’t that bad, honestly. “Do you want to have kids?” Andromeda asked and Remus nearly choked. Thank Merlin he had swallowed his soup already or he would’ve spit it out. “I – I – What?” Ted howled with laughter. “You’re scaring the young man, Dromeda.” “Dora has a very special gift – it would be a shame if she didn’t pass it on…” Andromeda insisted, looking at Remus who was trying to form a coherent sentence. “W-Well it’s not that serious yet – wh-when the time comes we can discuss those things together and –“ “That’s not what I meant – do you want to be a father? If – If that times comes, what would you say?” Andromeda persisted. Remus swallowed nervously and tugged at his tie for a moment. “I – I would love to be a father eventually, but – but I also believe I would not be a good father to any child. As you know – I’m in the Order and – There’s a lot of people who might try to hurt me, even if I left.” Not to mention, you’re a werewolf and you could pass on your lycanthropy and even if you didn’t you could possibly harm not only Dora but the child and – Remus, you really need to stop. Calm down. It’s just a simple question. “Maybe after the war then,” Ted suggested and Remus just blinked a few times and tried to calm himself down by taking a few bites of the soup. “What about your parents? You already told me your mother was a muggle.” Andromeda looked at Ted and smiled. Hey, her daughter wasn’t bringing home a pureblood. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? “W-Well, my father works at the ministry – he works in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures,” Remus began, though his tone was much more even and controlled than before. He could talk about his parents. He didn’t like them. Specifically, his dad. But also, Amelie because of what happened with Rose, but he had recently reconnected with Amelie. “My mother died when I was 12. I was very distraught over it – I – well, you could call me a ‘mummy’s boy’ I suppose. Father remarried a pureblood and my sister was born, same year as Dora.” Andromeda, picking up that he called her Dora, gave him an odd look for a moment, while Ted seemed to like him even more than before. Or at least he was pretending to like him. Boy, they would hate him when, or if, he ever told them what he was. They did deserve to know what they were getting into. Dinner continued on and there were conversations going on – nothing of much note, mostly asking about his interests and school days with Sirius, James, and Peter. When dinner finished, Ted and Remus stayed at the table for a little bit discussing a few muggle bands and muggle television shows while Andromeda cleaned up. When it was finally time for Remus to leave, he had stood up, shaking Ted’s hand, feeling the guilt welling up inside of him. He hadn’t told them what he was yet. It just never seemed the right time. “There’s – There’s something you need to know about me,” Remus said with almost a sad look on his face. Time to face the rejection he was used to… Maybe that was why he did this – so he would be able to use the excuse her parents hated him. And yet they seemed to like him well enough. This was just going to break all of that. “You already told us plenty, Remus,” Ted replied shaking his head. “N-No this is very important,” Remus insisted, “Dora already knows, but – but you deserve to know as well. I just – I just ask that no matter what happens between your daughter and I… you don’t tell anyone.” Andromeda looked at him curiously. “Go on.” Remus took in a deep breath and ran a hand along the scars on his face. Both parents found this a curious thing to do, given they had no idea what he was thinking or about to say. “When I was five years old, my father insulted some… people, and in return – well – those people went after me – in order to hurt my father,” Remus began. He could tell Ted was about to say something, but he held up a hand as if to say, ‘I’m not finished’, and Ted quieted. “Those people were a group of werewolves. Ever since, I’ve been one of them.” Silence. “I –“ Remus continued, seeing as the two parents had very odd looks on their faces, “I do my best to lock myself up during that time. That’s how I’ve gotten these scars. There’s more, just about everywhere on me. I – I swear I will do everything in my power not to hurt anyone because of this – I – I just thought you deserved to know.” More silence. “Well, Remus,” Ted began with a click of his tongue, and a deep breath, looking at Andromeda, “That is quite something. We appreciate you… telling us about that. I’m sure it was difficult. I think… I think that, while I don’t speak for my wife, that it shouldn’t define you. You might be a – a werewolf, but you’re also a man. I don’t let my blood define me as a muggle born.” He wrapped an arm around Andromeda. “It’s a tough pill to swallow but – as long as Dora is happy, we’ll be happy too.” Remus nodded with a thick swallow. “I should be going. If you – If you change your mind and – well if you don’t want me to date your daughter anymore… well you know where to find me.” He looked at the ground almost sadly. “Didn’t you hear him? If she’s happy, we’re happy,” Andromeda interjected, causing Remus to look up, “As long as she’s happy, we won’t change our minds. She’s her own person. While – While we might worry for her, we also believe in her. We believe she can make her own choices and protect herself. We appreciate you coming here to ask for our blessing, and you have it, young man.” Hey, she was only 7 years older than him. In fact, he was closer in age to her parents than Dora herself. He willed himself not to say that. “We aren’t going to make the same mistakes my parents made,” Andromeda continued, “We love Nymphadora. We want to be in her life, no matter what happens. We’ll stand by her and support her decisions. We trust that we have raised her to be a wonderful woman and that she will make the right choices. You need to trust in yourself.” “… Yes, ma’am.” Remus felt like he was being scolded, but he had given her a nod and a formal affirmation. They were – They were amazing, her parents. They reminded him of – well, Amelie when he had talked to her before. He ran a hand through his hair and soon said his farewells and quickly apparated away when he was outside. That went better than he expected. |
pyxis ★
