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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 2:52:37 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 245 words commentary | Remus just stood there for a few moments not saying anything before he finally sighed and shook his head.
“No – No telling me what’s going on between you, like… in detail or anything. I don’t need the image of you shacking up with him in my head,” He ran a hand through his hair and took a seat finally again. He covered his face, not even daring to look at her right now.
“I love you, Rose. I just want you to be happy. I just – I can’t claim to know everything about you – in fact I’ve been a terrible brother, and I know that. I can’t say if you’ve thought this completely through – but I believe in you… no matter what you might think, I do trust you. I just – I don’t trust him. But… if he makes you happy…”
What was he even saying? He still wanted to beat the shit out of him. But that might be a bit of a ‘hurt my sister and I kill you’ sort of instinct. It was stronger with someone he didn’t trust as opposed to someone he didn’t really know very well – even if Snape had ‘changed’. “I’ll attempt to be happy for you. And I’ll kill him if he hurts you.”
He smiled slightly looking up at her, a chuckle on the edge of his lips, “… But if you get to see his sock drawer, you must tell me what it looks like.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 3:08:16 GMT
"Th-That's not what I mea-" Her face immediately went bright red. "Sh-shacking up with him?"
Ok, yes, she had made a joke before along the lines of that, but for some reason having her brother say it in that way had her face changing into an intense red.
It faded slightly, as he resumed talking.
"You've been busy, not terrible, Remus," she ran her hand through his hair. "You've been out there, doing things I couldn't even imagine doing. That doesn't make you a terrible brother at all. The fight is worth it. I missed you, but I was mature enough to know that it was for the best.I'm just glad that whatever plan ya'll are involved in now has you here. That I can enjoy spending time with you while you're here."
She smiled gently at him, chuckling lightly. "How the tables turned, but he does make me happy. Intellectually and emotionally."
She dare not venture farther than those meanings. "I appreciate it, Remus. I really do. And I know you will. I'll trust you to hold by it."
She giggled at the sock drawer comment. "Well, of course."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 4:27:58 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 172 words commentary | “Well yes! That’s what people tend to do when they fall in – in love!” Remus’s was very red now. He just needed to destroy the image that was slowly forming in his head. Whew. It was gone, though he did picture small parts that weren’t… too terrible. Just a few smiles – which was weird, Severus Snape smiling? He rarely saw that.
“Don’t lie like that. The war is an excuse… It is worth it, but it isn’t worth losing you over. If I had to pick between you and winning the war right now – I’d pick you Rose. I think Dumbledore knows that too, so he’s been making sure to keep that… from happening. But still, Rose, its worth it, but not worth everything. Even if it means I’ll have to go on the run and hide in the worst of places, I’d always pick to save you.”
“And I mean it. You can judge the character of a man by his sock drawer. Perhaps it’ll make me a little less worried.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 4:54:53 GMT
She snickered, her face still red and shook her head. Gosh. What an idiot.
However, as she listened to him, she felt hot tears prick at her eyes. Dammit, there was that self-sacrificing Lupinism again! She darted forward, wrapping her arms around him in a hug and burying her face into his shoulder, attempting to hide her tears. Why? She had no idea.
"It still doesn't make you terrible," she said, her words a bit muffled. "Especially since you feel the way you do. How protective you are."
She took a deep breath. "You're the best brother, Remus."
She pulled away slightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I told you I'll let you know. Knowing my luck, it's probably immaculate."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 5:16:50 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 223 words commentary | Remus was surprised at first with the hug, but he relaxed into it. Why would she be hugging him? He was a terrible brother. He shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice the world to save his sister, wasn’t that selfish of him? But he was more important to him than anything else – well maybe that Luna girl he had met, and was completely smitten with, but that wasn’t the point!
“I’m sure there’s plenty of brothers who could be better. Who could be there more for you. Who… could show you the treatment you deserve. A brother who would – would be able to instantly accept that you liked someone… he didn’t. A brother who would wish you luck and while keeping an eye on you, not interfere too much. I could be so much better… but I’m not.”
Perhaps it was the fact he was aware he had flaws that made it hard for him to see the good in him. Or perhaps it was because he was a werewolf and basically had been told that he would never be loved for who he was except perhaps by one of his own kind. Like Rose. But he would rather her not be like him in that way and be happy.
“We’ll see. Immaculate, I doubt he’ll live up to my standards of sock organization.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 6:58:19 GMT
She sighed at him, and punched him hard, in the shoulder.
"Enough of the Remusisms, Moony! None of it!"
He was doing that selfdeprecating thing again. Guilty because of what he was. It was frustrating as hell because he always did all those things he was mentioning. She gave him a hard look. She didn't care if she just technically hit a teacher.
She immeditately dug into her bag and produced a bar of chocolate, ripping it open, she broke off a large chunk of it and shoved it into his mouth, effectively cutting him off.
Her eyes burned, "but you're my brother. The only one that I have. The one that I love, goddamit. And honestly, given Sev's track record of how he treats people normally; anyone would have had the same reaction. Thinking I would be under a potion or a spell. It was a justified reaction, I counted for it, knowing the history between you two."
She placed her hands on his shoulders, her eyes determined. "You have justified emotions, Remus, you are not an emotionless machine. No one is that perfect.
You're my protector, Remus. The one I can always count on to get me out of anything if needed and I love you for that. I don't want anyone different as my brother.
I wonder if it'll ever get through your stupid thick head that I appreciate everything you do for me, even if it's frustrating as hell. I know you mean good intentions by it. And you were threatened. I would've acted the same way if you started dating someone I didn't approve of."
She sighed softly, "you have many people around you that love you. That want to be your friend. That care about you. Myself, Sirius, James, Lily...
You are exactly who you need to be Remus. I wish you would see that. Release your past and move forward, Remus. It does not do to dwell on the past and forget to live, Remus."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I can just tell now. It's going to be most definitely immaculate."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 22:48:51 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 116 words commentary | “Ow!”
Remus rubbed his shoulder after she hit him. He chewed on the chocolate as she spoke and eventually swallowed. Much better. Chocolate was so magical. Always made him feel better. “Assaulting a professor. Under normal circumstances you’d have detention. Every Saturday for the next month.”
He gives her a raised eyebrow. And then he laughed slightly, shaking his head. “Lucky for you I’m an understanding professor.”
He swallowed and looked to the side. “… I… appreciate it. I know I can’t be perfect, but I want to be better. For you. For Peter. For James. For Lily. For Sirius. For everyone. "
"But… I don’t now if I can. But I’ll definitely try to be better.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 23, 2018 22:58:33 GMT
She shook her head, sighing. "yes, sometimes your you-isms are annoying but that doesn't mean we don't accept them. That we don't accept you, for who you are. You know your friends do, I mean, they learned very advanced magic for you. That takes time! And effort!"
She giggled, "you're worth it all Moony."
"I know you would hold up the world for the people you care about Moony."
The hand on the shoulder she punched, she used to cast a quick healing spell, feeling guilty for that out lash.
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 24, 2018 4:52:32 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 128 words commentary | “I – I know – even Peter did it. And he was the worst out of all of us. Even he did it – for me. And I can’t even… think of how… much I owe them. For their love. For everything they’ve done for me. Everything you’ve done.”
He wasn’t sure if she was right – if he really was worth it, but he knew arguing it would just get her angry and he’d end up losing it. However, he appreciated the healing spell on his arm when she hit him.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I deserved that pain, but she would get all made at him for saying that so he kept it in, “So long as I have you and my friends, I’ll be happy.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 24, 2018 5:47:41 GMT
"I'm just trying to be a light of positivity," she said, sighing. "I know life for our kind is rough, so we don't need to be hard on ourselves. Especially you."
She smiled at him, running her hand through his hair, again. "Even we deserve happiness, Remus. And, I think, because of what you've been through, you deserve it most of all."
She leans forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "You really are an amazing person Moony. It's why your friends worked so hard for you. Why they love you. Why I love you."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 26, 2018 6:03:06 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 178 words commentary | He ran a hand through his hair after she had run her hand. He considered for a few moments and then sighed.
“I don’t know if Father has told you before, but when I was little I ran away from home, and I joined a pack. I never told father what happened while I was gone either – there were several people who I was afraid of – I was eight years old, of course I would be afraid of these men and women. The majority of the pack just wanted to survive – they just were trying to… live. However, Father found where I had been and took the entire pack in.”
“… He never told me what happened to everyone, but given the laws at the time, they likely were thrown into the lower level of Azkaban. Just for wanting to try to live free. It was my fault they were caught.”
He took in a deep breath and looked at Rose right in the eyes. “Do I really deserve happiness when I took away so many people’s freedom?”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 26, 2018 6:42:24 GMT
She ingested this information, swallowing thickly. It's a no fucking wonder Greyback is always after us. Not that, what Greyback does is right in any matter - but, it makes sense.
Their gazes locked, "it wasn't your fault, Remus. Dad didn't have to do that. He shouldn't have."
For a moment, Rose seethed in her anger. Their father had done things that hurt his own son. She hated that he had caused this sort of mental and emotional abuse of Remus. All he wanted was to be treated like... like normal. It all became clear why he had been so upset when she was attacked. How would her father had reacted, when he treated his son so poorly?
"It's not your fault," she said again, shaking her head. "it wasn't right, that father did that. It's his. It's the ministry. It's the damn laws labelling us criminals when we've done absolutely nothing wrong except try to live normal lives. You didn't put that pack into Azkaban, father did."
She huffed, agitation in her voice. "he's told me some stories. And I can't bring myself to hate him - he is our father. I am angered by the things he's done. Did to you. This was a new story, yes. But of the ones I've heard...
He knows he's done wrong, Remus. And he regrets it. It had never been your fault. He's said things and made you believe things, that were taught to him and isn't the correct way of thinking about this. It has never been."
She reached out, cupping his face with her hands. "You do deserve happiness, Remus. You don't deserve the guilt that father has placed on you. I've always said this, if there's anyone who deserves the most happiness, it's you. You deserved to be loved, accepted, wanted, and needed. I have always believed that once you find something that gives you all those things, you should take hold and never let go."
She smiles at him, "isn't that what this whole upset of yours was with me dating Severus? A fear of him taking me away from you? Part of your happiness? You feared he would turn me against you?"
She smiled, "you don't have to worry about that. I'm stronger than that. Family comes first. You come first. I know the moment he tries that sort of things, I'm out."
She pressed a kissed to his forehead. "And you can get it out of your head that I would ever come to hate you. You made me sad with your lack or writing over the last couple of years, sure. You've made me worry because of it. I had to threaten Sirius to talk. But that's all because I love you. How you deserved to be loved."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 28, 2018 3:04:43 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 247 words commentary | Remus shook his head and looked at his hands. “No its not just that, I-I mean its partly that – I would feel like that with anyone, though with it being him makes it worse – its…” He studies his hands very intently as if he was trying to make something out.
“There was a man who took me under his wing – he was called Ulric, or at least that’s what they called him there, people normally changed their names when they joined the pack officially through a ritual. He told me about his family from before. He was attacked when he was older – he’d been married with two kids. For a short time, he managed to keep his condition hidden but – but when his wife found out, she left him, took the kids… He told me he watched them from time to time as the years went on, and that – that the only thing he wanted more than anything was to see his kids again.”
He paused for a moment and turned away from her and clenched his fists. “He never got that chance because of me.” Rubbing his eyes he thought for another moment, turning back towards her and giving her a very sad puppy dog look. “I’m afraid of him hurting you. I’m afraid that if our secrets get out, he’d leave you. Even if he knows now – things could be so difficult for everyone you’re close to, and if it gets to be too much…”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 28, 2018 3:42:34 GMT
She stared at him a few long moments. Understanding crossing her features. She chewed on her bottom lip, sighing, her jaw working. Sure, that seed of doubt always lived in the back of her mind. But, she... she wanted to see the good in people. Wanted to give them a chance. But Remus had seen it first hand.
She frowned, people had such prejudices against them. Like it was suddenly once they were a werewolf, any indication of the person they were just suddenly doesn't exist. Regardless if they were fully responsible for themselves.
She hates that he blames himself for things their father did. The lives her father took. Murders, really. She still felt it wasn't Remus' fault, but what was she to say to make him see it?
She swallowed thickly, heart pounding.
She smiled sadly in return as his gaze set back on her, resolve in her voice when she spoke again. "I still want to take that chance. I know it's a huge risk but... I can't live without knowing. I want to be able to grab at whatever slivers of happiness I can get."
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Post by Remus John Lupin on Aug 28, 2018 5:10:08 GMT
i will break the spell you put on me | everywhere i go, i am spellbound; you cannot have this control on me | 130 words commentary | Remus pulled her into a hug and sniffed, trying to keep himself under control.
He hadn’t really told anyone about that whole ordeal before – not even his dad knew about Ulric’s story.
It had weighed on him for ages – it still did, but at least he got it off his chest, he spoke about it for the first time really.
It felt… good but also at the same time it felt like he had ripped open an old wound and poured some salt into it.
Almost like… breaking a bone in order to set it correctly because it didn’t heal properly before.
“I can’t guarantee I’ll be happy – but – but if I don’t have to see it, or think about it, I supposed I can – I can deal with it?”
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