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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 18, 2018 3:21:03 GMT
Man, she was tired.
Sure, the full moon was three days ago and she'd come out of it just fine. As always. But it still made her feel like she was twice her age. This is why Remus was grey, she thought bitterly to herself. Does it really get worse with age?
She sighed, looking into the mirror, fussing with her hair, a blush staining her cheeks. She never paid this much attention to her looks before. What was she doing? She couldn't help notice all the little oddities that had sprung up within the last week. Secret smiles, the catching of breath as he walked past her when surveying the class, or how she held her breath when he stopped to inspect whatever potion she was working on. His eyes would slide to her and then he would nod and walk towards some other group. Mind you, it's only been a week.
God, she swore she'd died like four times this week.
She looked herself in the mirror again and then with a spray of water, completely washed off all the work she had done, dried her face and righted her hair again. What was she doing?
She walked back into her bedroom, looking around at its disarray (again, it'd been a week). She had actually only started this mess just a few hours ago. She found her wardrobe completely lacking anything and everything cute and girly all of a sudden and had written to her mother. Which luckily for her had been awake and sent a package straight away.
Did she mention she had been up since four am?
Right, she was tired as hell.
She packed her book bag with her potions text, pens (another thing she remembered to write for) and parchment and marched out of her room and down into the common room, where she slipped by the few people that were in there.
She slipped into a seat at Gryffindor table somewhere between Charlie and the twins and decidedly ignored their stares. It was always like this on weekends, when she got to dress outside of robes. She always forgot that she looked older when she did so as well.
Okay, Charlie wasn't staring as he was contemplating his oatmeal or the dragon text before him. One of the two. The twins were definitely staring though. She had pushed herself to wait until the last thirty or so minutes of breakfast, so it would go fast.
After breakfast, she slipped out of the great hall and slipped into one of the many secret passageways that led down into the dungeons. It was a long way, but it would get her out of the stares and hordes of children.
First stop was the kitchens, where she put together (much to the house-elves dismay) a simple lunch for two. Snape didn't eat much, she knew, and part of her hope that because it was coming from her he would make an effort, but, she didn't place too much hope on that.
Escaping the kitchens and in the quiet of the passageway, she breathed, calming herself. She hadn't a clue as to why she was so nervous, but here she was. Nervous as hell.
Why now though? Why did her thoughts so suddenly change? She'd been spending time with him each month like it was nothing before. Was she afraid? Was she fighting for survival again?
She found herself punching the brick wall next to her, the sharp pain and bloodied knuckles bringing her out of her reverie.
There was just no possible way.
She just couldn't be.
Augh, damn!
She had arrived at the potions classroom. She entered, looking at Snape and sighing. He looked pissed as hell.
Damn it.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 18, 2018 3:59:01 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
Severus hadn’t been in the Great Hall for breakfast. He usually never really was there anyways, he was always busy with something. Today it was getting ready for the lesson he was going to be teaching his star pupil – a very difficult potion that would take quite a bit of time for her to master. However, for some reason he found himself looking in his mirror in his quarters, running a brush through his hair, as if trying to get it to look right. While Severus was a neat man, despite his greasy looking hair, he never was one to really pay attention to things like that. [break][break] After he was satisfied, he made his way to the nearby classroom and began to take out the ingredients they would be needing today. Of course, to start he wasn’t going to have her waste them as they were highly expensive. He was simply going to be teaching her their properties and exactly how to do it before she would put it into practice. [break][break] Once set up, he sat at his desk at the front of the room and began to write out a few insults he would hope to sling at Black and Potter if they ever came at him – after all, he had a quick wit, but preparation was key to everything. He also planned to make sure if they pranked him, he was ready for it. However, as time ticked on, Severus checked his pocket watch which he received on his 17th birthday, and saw that she was late. [break][break] His face turned to anger and he tapped his desk impatiently, watching the clock and the door. Tick Tick tick. Another second late. Did he even care about this? Sure, the last week had been… odd, but did she think just because he had admitted he enjoyed her company before that she could be late to his extra class that he was taking time out of his busy schedule to teach? [break][break] Finally, when she entered, he slowly rose from the desk and started walking towards her. “You’re late.” Oh yes, he was pissed. There were many thoughts running through his head – she was using him, or something like that. She had said she would be there. And he trusted her, and here she was waltzing in a whole… two minutes late. “If you weren’t gong to take this seriously, you should never have requested it.” [break][break] His eyes drifted to her knuckles and he pulled out his wand, taking her hands and waving the wand over her knuckles repairing the damage. “Fighting? I thought better of you, Rose.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 18, 2018 4:10:02 GMT
This basket was heavy. What the hell did she pack it with?
She looked up at him and even though his face was dark with anger, anger which was directed at her, she still found her heart skipping. Her bruised and bloodied hand clenched and the sharp pain reminded her of what happened when her emotions got out of control.
"I'm sorry, Professor Snape," several excuses stop on her tongue. There were no excuses for Professor Snape. She bowed her head, but it wasn't long before it shot up again, fire in her eyes. "I am taking it seriously! It won't happen again!"
She had forgotten about her hand, but he took it into his and when the warmth of the healing spell washed over her, she couldn't help but stare at her hand, her lips twitched into a smirk.
"Tell that to the wall who assaulted me. C'mon, do you think I'd get into an actual fist fight with someone?"
She rolled her eyes. "I may be the sister of a Marauder, but I tend to opt for the non-violent ways of mischief, thank you very much."
Like falling in love? Shut up brain.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 18, 2018 4:20:17 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
At least she didn’t give him an excuse. While his anger wasn’t quelled, there was a little bit of something else in his face – was it worry? She had come to his classroom hurt, and apparently it was a wall she had assaulted, not a person. At least that way, she didn’t hurt someone else. Even if she had gotten into a fight, he doubted that she would’ve started it either way. [break][break] It took a few moments for his anger to subside and that was when he realized what she was wearing. He looked her up and down, lingering slightly as he took everything she was in. A few moments more he needed to comprehend exactly what he was seeing and why his lips had quirked into a small smile. “What exactly are you wearing?” [break][break] He considered for a moment, deciding he would let this slip just once. It was the first day, but he would not tolerate it ever again. “I’ll let you off this once with a warning. Any more lateness and you will have to teach yourself how to brew the potion.” He gave her a serious look before he turned away and walked back towards his desk, picking up a piece of parchment. [break][break] “Now, tell me, what did the wall ever do to you?”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 18, 2018 4:43:47 GMT
She blinked, ah, he did notice. At least she had made the executive decision to remove the three layers of makeup she had attempted this morning. Attempting to look older. Mature. Irresistible. Ridiculous is what it had been. She had never been much for makeup, at all. A bit of eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick here and there but that had been overkill. She swallowed licking her lips nervously. "Did you seriously think I'd come down here on a Saturday in my robes? I have to wear those all week, plus they need washing eventually." She rolled her eyes but looked down at herself and her sun dress. "I know, I know, completely a stark contrast to normal down here in these dungeons." She smiled at him, not daring to notice his lingering gaze and the way her heart sped up at it. Was it working? Could he notice her? Stop, Rose, just stop. She chewed on the inside of her cheek. Thankfully he changed the subject back to her lateness. "I swear Professor, it won't happen again." He finally moved away from her and she felt like she was able to breathe again. She heaved the basket up onto the desk near his and sighed, relieved of that heavy burden. Then he asked about the wall and her face coloured prettily. "W-well. Let's just say it insulted me."
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 18, 2018 14:51:57 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
To think, some people might say his abilities to hide his emotions was just hurting him and making him bottle them up. Now it was proving useful to hide the fact he, for some ungodly reason, was enjoying looking at Rose Lupin, his student. However, with the way she had been addressing him, ‘Sev’, he wondered if she thought of him as more than a professor. His heart leapt at the idea, but he quickly calmed himself down, telling himself it was dumb to even think something like that. [break][break] “It is a pleasant… contrast.” He walked closer to her, parchment in hand and set it on the desk she had set her basket on. His eyes lingered on the basket for a moment, wondering what she had brought. Of course, he did tell her to bring lunch if she wanted to eat – but had she brought something for him as well? [break][break] He chuckled at her comment about the wall, his lips curling into an actual smile. Not a bit one, but it was more than the half-smile he would normally give her. “Hopefully this parchment won’t do the same. I worked hard on it. And I won’t make another.” He placed a hand on the desk, slightly leaning towards her, his eyes flicking to the paper he had set down. “It’s basic directions on how to brew the potion.” Severus, its at least 16 inches with tiny handwriting. Even still, he considered it basic. “On the last Saturday before Christmas, you’ll have to write it out in front of me from memory. If you fail, well… just don’t fail.” [break][break] He hadn’t realized how close he had positioned himself to her, along with the fact he was leaning towards her, made the distance between them even smaller. His face blushed slightly when he realized the close proximity. It would be quite easy to lean in and ki – Stop right there. She’s your student, Severus. And the sister of one of those boys. If anything, she was treating you like this as a big long prank. You can’t just fall in love with any girl that showed you kindness.
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 18, 2018 17:15:41 GMT
He left only to return, much closer than before.
Might as well blush and just let it stay, if this is any indication of how these Saturdays are going to go. Who knew it would hurt to restrain blushing? Ugh. A shiver ran down her spine at his version of a compliment and she smiled brilliantly. Seven years under the tutelage of this man and she's finally picked apart the way he says things. The hidden meaning behind the things he says.
But then again, 'pleasant contrast' was probably one of the easier ones.
She watched as his eyes lingered on her and then the basket of goodies she brought with her. Does he wonder if I thought of him? She smirked slightly.
She wasn't even stopping her thoughts anymore.
It seems like she had been made powerless with him so close, unable to stop even her own thoughts. And then he smiled. Not his usual half grin that was heart-stuttering enough, but an actual goddamn smile and was that death number five? Severus was going strong here... Her jaw had dropped, lips parting slightly, not even able to stop the words from her mouth.
"You're handsome when you smile like that."
She blinked, blushed darker and immediately took up the sixteen inches of parchment that held the instructions on the wolfsbane, focusing on it. It was his signature tiny handwriting, but unlike most, she was thankful for it. If it hadn't been so tiny, the parchment would be three times as long and unmanageable.
It was going to be a lot of work, she mused to herself. But she and Remus couldn't depend on him for the rest of their lives and she was Severus' star pupil. If she wasn't, he would've never agreed to this. Unless...
Focus, Rose!
You can't be thinking survival like that Rose. You need to excel. Provide for yourself. This is why you're here right? And not just to get close to him.
She nodded when he detailed her 'midterm' exam for this. This was going to be a long three months.
She looked forward to it.
"I won't fail, Professor, my life depends-" she looked up, straight into his eyes and immediately registered how close he was. "On it..."
Oh god. This was all in her imagination right? The flirting wasn't mutual, right? This was just her? This was just her reading into body language incorrectly right?
Unfortunately for her, one of the things she excelled at was body language and especially when it came to Severus Snape; as that's one thing you had to pay close attention to when it comes to understanding him. She exhaled shakily, "I brought us lunch."
She made sure to emphasize the us part specifically.
"It's the reason I was late. House-elves are vicious when a human enters their quarters. They don't take lightly to their territory being torn up by a hurricane like I am."
She smiled teasingly, noting that sparkling feeling again, noticing she had shifted closer to him, bridging that gap further, looking up at him.
"Getting them to give me food for one person was one thing; but two, they threw an absolute fit at."
She giggled softly lips quirking into a half smile. "But it was worth the effort and even your anger; to be able to share lunch with you... Severus."
Oh, yes, she was testing this water.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 19, 2018 1:03:31 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
There was something about her blush that made Severus wonder if this was truly a prank – made him wonder if she actually did someone like him – more than just trying to get on his good side for better grades (which didn’t work, mind you). However, those musings were quickly shut down by her next words, which took Severus by surprise. [break][break] His eyes widened ever so slightly, and his smile disappeared immediately. She just – did she just… call him handsome? That was not something he was used to at all. He was used to being called a prick. He was used to being called greasy haired. He was used to being called unattractive, but here she was saying he was handsome? Was she feeling alright? Perhaps the full moon had affected her brain this time. [break][break] “Then perhaps I should stop as to not distract you during our lessons.” He looked at her with his face blank once more before he gave her a quick half-smile. He took in a deep breath, unconsciously touching his throat just barely before his eyes flicked down, her eyes, her nose, her lips, her nose, her eyes. [break][break] “Hm. Not quite. I’m sure if you fail we could come to some arrangement for me to continue to supply you,” He gave her a quick smile again before he quickly looked away and towards such an interesting piece of the wall. At least then he wouldn’t be focusing on her eyes and how beautiful they – stop it. You’re not looking at them. And yet, his mind drifted off to her scent, with that little bit of dreamy quality to it. Was he doomed that even if he wasn’t looking at her, she would continue to slowly kill him inside? [break][break] This entire week he had noticed this effect she had on him – it had started after that session of brewing wolfsbane for her and her brother. It was as if, over the summer she had grown a lot, and he was just now noticing her… many attractive qualities. Not that he didn’t enjoy her presence before, but he hadn’t ever thought of her as ‘intoxicating’. [break][break] Looking back to her and leaning in just slightly closer, making their distance even shorter. If anyone were to walk in, it would almost look like they were about to kiss. “If you ask them the night before, they’ll gladly do it for you. It’s a matter of giving them time to prepare for it. However, before we get to lunch, there’s your lesson for the day.” He moved by her, his shoulder ghosting near hers, his fingers lightly touching hers, before he found himself at the cabinet near the back of the classroom. He took out his wand, several glasses moving from the cabinet. After inspecting them he had them fly over to a desk near her. [break][break] The distance he had gained between them started to close as he walked closer, picking up one of the vials which contained some sort of leafy ingredient. “I want you to inspect each of these and tell me what they are. There are three which do not go in the Wolfsbane, and I want you to tell me which three do not belong, and how to tell the difference between them.” Several of them look almost identical, which would make things hard. “I’ll answer three yes or no questions.” [break][break] Among the ingredients: aconite, moonseed, dittany, betony, fluxweed, salamander blood, lacewing fly, lionfish spine, dragon horn, eye of newt, ground moonstone, nightshade, pearl dust, and moondew. Some were easier to tell than others, but one could easily get the moon-things confused along with the pearl dust. And of course, the aconite, dittany, betony, and fluxweed could be easily confused. Of the ingredients, salamander blood, lacewing fly, betony were not ingredients in the potion. He had intentionally left out porcupine quill to see if she would mention it missing. Of course, she had the list of what went in it in her hands, but it was a matter of picking which ones were correct.
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 19, 2018 3:09:18 GMT
"Please don't."
She found herself saying this before she could stop it. Arrangement? What in the world? Why did that sound like a promise? Her brain must be broken if she was caught on how she thought that insinuated something and if it did, why was she wanting to figure out if it was suggesting what her brain was supplying. She looked at him, eyes shining.
"I... I couldn't do that to you, Severus," his name fell so naturally from her lips now, she couldn't even correct herself, not here, not now. "You've made it for this past seven years; continuing to burden you for it after my time here at Hogwarts... I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd rather live without it."
If my brother could do it, I can do it...
But she smiled, "but, I know I'll get this. I have to."
She swallowed thickly.
"I'll keep that in mind for next week."
She nodded. She hadn't ever had a use of food outside of meal times, as most snacks normally came from Hogsmeade visits. Though it seemed she would have no time for Hogsmeade this year. It was a willing sacrifice though. She felt like she would be gaining so much more.
The ghosting of his touch and his closeness leaving her had her stifling a groan. Really Lupin? Are you so far deep already? She had only been a few inches away from his, he hadn't even touched her! So far deep. Too deep. What the hell was she going to do with herself?
And yet, he was right back where he started before he moved away. So, he wasn't distancing himself. That was... good. Yes. Good. Very good.
But now, time to focus, Lupin. She pulled off her bag, setting it atop the table and looked at the ingredients laid before her. Well, the easiest thing to do was to separate the obvious. A seventh year should be able to identify each of these, regardless of what potion they were studying.
She studied the ingredients in front of her and began to sort them. As she sorted them, she giggled, "you really had to make this tough on me, didn't you?"
It honestly wasn't that bad. She smiled, first picking up a vial of red liquid.
"Salamander Blood," she set the vial aside. "Used in strengthening potions, but not ideal here, as we're trying to subdue our monster not give in strength. Though a potion containing this after a full moon may be helpful."
She picked up a jar that contained green looking wings, smirking slightly. "Lacewing Flies. And on their eighteenth or so day of stewing. These are nearly done, Professor."
She set that jar down with the Salamander Blood. She shifted her focus towards four similar looking plants next, she studied them a moment longer before picking up the one with slightly spikier looking leaves, smiling. "Taking the flowers off this one was smart, but still didn't stump me too long.
The aconite plant, it's leaves are poisonous, but the flowers are what is used in wolfsbane." She grinned, "You can also use the flowers in the wide-eye potions as well."
She set that plant away from the other two ingredients she had identified, obviously making 'in potion' and 'not in potion' arrangements.
She next picks up a plant with rounded leaves and a smooth texture. "Dittany. Used in healing potions and can be used topically to heal wounds. The use of dittany in wolfsbane, however, is for the affected to keep their mind."
She set this plant with aconite. She picked up the next, a long and very green plant, "harvested on the full moon, it's a no wonder it's usefulness in the potion. While in the Polyjuice potion it aids in the changing, while in wolfsbane it protects the mind along with the dittany to keep it from changing along with the curse."
She gives him a wink. "Fluxweed. An apt name for its use."
She sets it along with the aconite.
She then goes for a long plant with sort of triangular leaves. "Once again, pulled the flowers off." She chuckled. "Betony. Easily confused with the aconite, but if one pays close attention to its stem and leaves, it's not that hard to tell them apart. Plus the flowered versions are completely different."
She rolled her eyes, setting a look on him. "Also a healing plant, good for wounds."
She sets it with the salamander blood and lacewing.
Moving on, she then picks up a milky white looking stone. "Moonstone used ground. Has a calming effect."
She sets this with the aconite and the fluxweed and retrieves a crescent moon shaped stone, "moonseed, typically used for the moonseed poison."
She then picks up a white looking flower. "Moondew. You think this one would make the wolfsbane taste better. Maybe it does. I assume without it it wouldn't be drinkable at all."
She gives a glance out of the corner of her eye to Snape, "and I feel like Damocles had a sense of humour with those three ingredients."
She then next picks up a tiny container, sighing softly. "One of the ingredients that make this potion impossible for a werewolf to brew themselves, Pearl Dust, which in a sense looks a lot like the ground moonstone, but the pearl dust has more of a shine to it."
She sets this with the aconite and moon-related ingredients. She next picks up a pink flower, "nightshade, used for it's calming properties. Obviously, the wolfsbane is used to subdue and calm the werewolf. With so many calming effects and healing. I'm not arguing with its tranquillizer like qualities. Having been taking it since I was a kid, it does its job. I sleep like a baby."
She chuckles. "Though, I am difficult to wake up in the morning, the shifting of bones usually does the trick."
Setting that with the aconite, she then picks up a jar of the eye of newt. "Eye of newt."
She then picks up the horn-like ingredient, "dragon horn, another one of the expensive ingredients."
She wrinkled her nose, shaking her head as she set it aside.
"I never really thought about it before but, I'm starting to get the inkling that some of these were just put in there to make it unattainable. What are your thoughts on that, being a Potions Master?"
She sets the horn along with the aconite, picking up a few of the white looking needles, "lionfish spines. Pretty typical healing potion ingredient."
Again, this ingredient got set with the aconite and she looks at the two categories, face contorting a moment. She then smirks. "You've left out the Porcupine Quills, Professor."
As for those three questions...
She turned to look at him seriously. "Would you date one of your students? And if yes, would you date me?"
That sparkling feeling was back. "would you allow me the chance to be your happiness?"
Remus was going to kill her, she knew it. But she didn't care.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 19, 2018 3:58:26 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
Everything about her was so confusing to the logical and clear-minded Potions Master. Why would she care to see his smile? He wasn’t here to be some ‘eye-candy’ for her, she needed to focus – not to mention he fact he had a hard time believing he could ever be considered ‘handsome’ even when smiling. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as if they wanted to smile, but he was holding back – something about the way she said it made his heart leap out of his chest. [break][break] He took in a slow and steady breath looking right at her, his eyes as blank as his face, but his voice shook with a slight bravado. “I would rather you not go without it. We already agreed that your brother’s rugged looks would not congeal with your features very well.” He didn’t even think of correcting her for some reason. However, his hand nearly reached out to touch hers, but it stopped halfway. His eyes didn’t show any sort of acknowledgement of what his hand had done, but his mind told it to lower and so his hand lowered once more. “While yes, I have very important things to be doing, it wouldn’t be… too much to ask to make the potion for a single werewolf. Or two if you’re insistent.” [break][break] A smile quirked onto his face, his teeth slightly showing. “I know you will. But if there comes a month when you cannot – you know where to find me.” He might complain occasionally about how it was wasting his time each month, but he mostly did that when it came to brewing it for her older brother – it was no secret he disliked Remus. More than disliked. He had a massive grudge he held against him. [break][break] Severus watched as she started to sort them, mostly looking amused, but looking over her shoulder, his chest near her back. A hand had raised up, just barely touching her back while he watched her, his mind not quite catching this action until it was a little bit too late, his fingers brushing down her back before he quickly removed his hand. [break][break] Of course, his mind was focusing on what she was saying about each of the ingredients while his heart decided it would do its own thing while he was distracted – it wasn’t often that his heart was able to come out, and when it could, it rarely seized the opportunity. He solidified his mind, attempting to lock his hear away and scold it for acting so unprofessionally. [break][break] And yet he couldn’t help but think about the short, gentle touch. His mind racing and unable to think of anything but her words and musings and that moment. Clearing his throat when she finally mused something he could answer to – hoping talking would help distract him from that one tiny moment his mind wanted to focus on for some ungodly reason. [break][break] “I don’t believe so. When Damocles invented the potion fourteen years ago, the Romanian Longhorn was not endangered, making the dragon horn fairly common. Pearl dust is commonly used in love potions – no love potion would ever work without it. Pearl dust, while very expensive and rare, can help create the obsessions that love potions use to ensnare its victims. However, that’s the effect on the human – when there’s a beast, it does the opposite – it calms the beast’s mind, makes it less… needy. Convinces the animal’s mind that it doesn’t need to come out.” [break][break] He pauses for a moment and looks to her with a smile again, seeing as she noticed the porcupine quills missing. She really was something, wasn’t she? She was incredibly intelligent, and he found that appealing. There were so many people in this school who seemed to lack a keen mind and he found himself secluded because of that. He couldn’t stand idiocy, and yet, Rose seemed to be able to work with him on an equal level – ignorance, yes, he couldn’t expect her to know everything. However, she had the logic and ability to learn quicker than others and wouldn’t stand for failure – that was what really made him enjoy her company. [break][break] “I have experimented with the potion over the past seven years, the moondew was actually my addition. However, I do believe it can be improved over time. Perhaps able to substitute some of the rarer ingredients for something more common.” [break][break] He had crossed his arms finishing his explanation. What he didn’t expect was her questions – he had meant for them to be used to help her identify the ingredients, not what came next. [break][break] It wasn’t often that the great occlumens Severus Snape was caught so off-guard. So surprised, he even took a step back, his leg knocking into a nearby desk, though not hard. He swallowed, their distance now a little bit further apart. [break][break] “Do you take me for a fool?” His smile had been replaced with a scowl. This wasn’t her choice. This wasn’t what she actually was asking him for – not only was it completely absurd, he couldn’t think of what could have possessed her to ask it… Unless someone else had put her up to it. “It was your brother wasn’t it? He visited me the other day, threatened me even. And then here you are, asking… that.” His voice was slow and deep, but there was a seething anger behind them. [break][break] “You can tell him it didn’t work. I thought he was better than Black and Potter, but perhaps he was in on all of their pranks anyways and I was a fool to think he was a bystander.” He took a couple of steps back, angling his retreat towards his desk and away from her. “What does he have on you? Did you do it because he’s your brother? Have you been pretending all this time?”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 19, 2018 4:35:21 GMT
She smiled, giggling lightly. Well, that's definitely one way to call someone pretty.
"Fine, fine, if you insist," she giggled again.
To her, and her well, she was dubbing them Lupinisms now, since it's something they both shared. Even if some arrangement had been made, whatever it may be, she would still feel extreme guilt for asking for such a thing. Especially for two. She gave a shuddering sigh. There would be now way to return the favour, short of her life, that was. She sort of understood why Remus attempted to be civil with him, because yes. That potion, without it, many would be in danger. Her, on the other hand? Was trying to be more than civil. There was more to her heart than platonicies. There was no secrets and fear between her and Severus Snape. Okay, secrets maybe, but she could talk freely about her condition. Remus normally hushed her like she was uttering Voldemorts name.
Fear in the name is only fear in the thing itself, right?
She wasn't afraid of her condition. She didn't want to hide it anymore. It was apart of her. Sure, she was dangerous untreated, that was understandable.
But it didn't mean she couldn't be accepted, treated or untreated. It didn't matter. She had the right to be accepted.
And Severus Snape did just that.
She nodded, however, not replying to it. What would that look like? Randomly visiting the school a week before the full moon? Dumbledore surely wouldn't allow such a thing. She would probably have to send a Patronus to him and meet in Hogsmeade. Yes, that would be the idea way of doing it.
As she was sorting and describing each ingredient, she swore she felt a touch to her back and forced herself to stay relaxed. Any moves made she wanted to encourage, so reacting in surprise wouldn't do well at all. She had turned to him, smiled and described one of the plants, and continued on.
"Still though," she frowned at the expensive ingredients. "If there was a way to make it more accessible. That would be a great life's work indeed."
Here she was, thinking about that project of hers. That movement.
She stared at him during his outburst, waiting for him to finish. She had expected it. Of course, she was a Lupin. This mistrust hurt, but she had the proper reply.
"Why don't you find out for yourself, if I'm pretending? You're a competent Legilimens. Come find out yourself."
She was daring him, indeed.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 19, 2018 4:59:29 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"]
He considered for a few moments to spend a little more time studying everything about the Wolfsbane potion – make it a little bit better, perhaps a little bit less expensive. After all, what use was his talents if he didn’t use them? Then again, he was very skilled with the Dark Arts and he was trying his best to cut down on those – Dumbledore and Lily both didn’t seem to like it when he used them for some reason. Who would ever guess why? [break][break] His lower lip quivered with the rage seething under his visage, looking to her with fury. She was suggesting that he read her mind? She was suggesting that he look to see if she was lying? What if she wasn’t lying? He didn’t know what to do – there would obviously be something wrong with her head. No one in their right mind would want to be with someone like him – let alone adding the fact he was her professor. [break][break] Drawing his wand, he pointed it at her, his arm completely still, his face turning blank once more. Was it hope that she did like him that drove him at this point? That made him use the effort to see what she was getting at? What was wrong with him? Perhaps he was the one not in his right mind. He loved Lily. And yet he held such affection for this young woman in front of him, wanting to see her smile – to hear that giggle he had heard earlier. [break][break] That soft spot he had for her, it led to him not using the spell non-verbally, so she would know it was coming. So, she could prepare herself – it wasn’t like she had ever practiced Occlumency before, he could almost feel it given his deep study into the two related subjects. However, his voice quivered, as if scared as to what he might find out. Scared that she was lying. Scared that she was telling the truth. [break][break] “Legilimens.”
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 19, 2018 5:12:14 GMT
She didn't shy away from his fury, instead, she looked defiantly at him. Head held high. She didn't run from danger, or in fear. There was no fear here.
As the spell took hold of her, she relaxed opening up her mind, allowing him to sift through as he pleased. The last week, the emotions that had taken hold of her so strongly. Not even an hour away when she had punched that defenceless wall as she had just then fought with herself. Not even five minutes away when he had touched her, or the ghosting of touches from earlier in the morning. The feeling of loneliness she had felt when he'd walked away from her. The feeling of elation when he returned, possibly closer than ever. That feeling of being drawn to him in every possible way.
There was no plot. No tricks. The only memory of Remus was the one on the first day of school and a brief one from several months ago before he had to leave again. All her thoughts and memories had been filled with Severus Snape.
Somewhere within the spell, as he was still sifting through her memories and thoughts and feelings, her eyes had opened to look directly at him.
"Don't you see it now?" she whispered softly.
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Post by Severus Tobias Snape on Aug 19, 2018 5:37:41 GMT
[googlefont=Quicksand][googlefont=Ubuntu:400,700] [nospaces] [attr="class","manalishi"] [attr="class","manalishil"] [attr="class","manalishiltop"] [attr="class","manalishiltopp"] [attr="class","manalishiltop2"]I wish I could stop loving you [attr="class","manalishiltop3"]so that I could free myself of the pain of you not being able to love me back. [attr="class","manalishilpost"] [break][break] He dropped his wand when the memories finished running their course. He hadn’t found any sort of trickery within them, but he was still in disbelief. He stared at her for a few moments and then quickly turned away, placing his hands on his desk, taking several moments to think about what just happened. Organizing his mind, he came up with a few points: [break][break] - Somehow, she liked him. And not in the way a student would like a professor teaching a subject they enjoyed learning about. It was scary that somehow someone could feel like that towards him. Lily never did, how could Rose?
- She noticed. She noticed the way he was acting around her – questioning his intentions but enjoying it. She wanted more of the touches he accidentally let loose.
- He was royally screwed.
[break] Now that he had that out of the way, he had to figure out what to do next. She spoke, and he just took in a deep breath, still not facing her, his mind unable to come up with the words he wanted to say – such a thing, it was unbelievable, and yet the evidence was right before his eyes. He wasn’t one to believe the opposite of what was standing in front of him like this – but it was so surreal. It was as if he was shot up into space and discovered the Earth was actually flat. [break][break] Straightening himself up, he regained his composure turning back around to look at her. “I don’t know.” He takes in a breath and takes a couple steps towards her. “I don’t know the answer to your questions. There’s a lot… that stands in the way. I – I do care for you, but I also am in love with someone else, someone I can’t ever be with regardless of my feelings. If we were found out – my reputation for being… unbiased may be called into question. Of course, I wouldn’t let anything like that get in the way of my position, but regardless…” [break][break] He took a couple more steps towards her, a hand raising to cup her cheek. “I don’t know, Rose.”[attr="class","manalishirnote"] [attr="class","manalishirnote1"]EXTRA NOTES [attr="class","manalishirnote2"] [attr="class","manalishirnote3"] [attr="class","manalishirnote4"] [attr="class","manalishirnote5"]
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Post by Rose Ameile Lupin on Aug 19, 2018 5:54:05 GMT
It was best this was out now.
Because if it hadn't and the tension had built and bottled, she wouldn't be able to focus. She needed to focus, so the best way was to get the distraction out of the way. Of course, she was sure this would possibly lead to more distractions, but she wouldn't be a nervous mess anymore.
She could be the smart, confident, driven person that she knew she was.
Had she expected him to throw himself at her and kiss her senseless? No. Had she expected the utter disbelief? Yes. She was a student, a final year student, but a student none the less.
She didn't care though. It's not like this was some kink or something for her. She was a woman. He was a man. She saw past their stations, for what it was. What they could be.
He always said she was intelligent.
Sure there was going to be a few obstacles over the year. One being her brother; two, his station; three, her own station and four: a certain red-headed married Potter that resided a few floors above.
He had turned away from her, to process the information and she watched him fondly. She knew it was a lot for him. Hell, the emotions were causing her hell too, because of how strong they were.
"I... I know."
She said this softly, as she rose a hand to cover the one on her cheek. Her eyes closing for a moment. Finally, touch. She revelled in it for several moments. Taking a deep breath. "I knew I wasn't going to get an answer to those things today.
However, I do want to ask a fourth.
Can you try?
I know that I will never replace Lily. I am not trying to. I want to help you close that chapter of your life and move on to a new one. But these feelings are so strong, so real, and so bright. I couldn't ignore them.
I am not a child, nor is this some kink. This is me and you, not teacher and student."
She smiled softly, "and I know the danger of being found out. But you know well enough that I can treat you the same way I have been for the past six years. I've done it every day before. Nothing will change."
She then smirked, "except on Saturdays."
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